The Five Important Steps to Finals Preparation

Step one: Prepare your body

English: A Snickers candy bar, broken in half.
This is my life right now. Prepare your body
Thinking hard is a lot like running a marathon. If you are not well nourished you could die. You obviously won’t have time to take a break later, so go to your local supermarket and purchase every flavor of snickers bar. Junk food is better because it has a higher caloric density. This means you get more nourishment faster! Buy as much as you can, then go get an ice cream sundae. You’re not chubs, you just mean business.

Step two: Prepare your mind

If you focus too hard you WILL go crazy. It is your responsibility to yourself to relax for a moment. Get it all out of your system. Go ahead, watch a few hours of YouTube. Call everyone you need to catch up with. Don’t worry if they seem like they don’t want to talk to you because they actually have $#!+ to do. They will appreciate your friendliness, you bright little bundle of sunshine you. Be sure you spend time stalking people you don’t care about and have no relevance to your life on Facebook. It gives you perspective.

Step three: Make your rounds on social medias

You will be off the map for so long with your intense studying. It’s important you maintain the badass internet persona that you’ve worked so long and hard to build (23 followers on twitter, awws yeah). Make important lists; how to prepare for finals.

Step four: Organize

You can’t study if your environment is not clean and organized. Don’t even worry about learning until you have several different hand written lists of what you need to learn, organized by: date due, date assigned, subject, importance, spelling, how much you don’t want to do it, and teacher hotness. You’ll probably only use the last list, but it is good prepare just in case. Don’t forget to do laundry, vacuum, and organize your socks by length and color.

Step five: Rest Up

Cougar sleep


It’s been a long day. Sleep deprivation does not offer promising results. You are going to do an awesome job tomorrow if you take the night off and go to bed at 8PM.

Want more finals related humor:

I Have to Laugh About Finals So I Don’t Cry

Top 5 Things To Do In The Library During Finals

Finals Week Oh NO

If you like this post, follow me on twitter. There is more where this came from and 23 IS the loneliest number.


What do you do to prepare? What do you do to de-stress?


10 thoughts on “The Five Important Steps to Finals Preparation

  1. I’m good at utilizing Step Four. Except instead of laundry, vacuuming, and sock organizing, I bake because I don’t want to actually think about my work. It’s a delicious distraction.

  2. I tend to replace step five with “Play Heroes of Might and Magic for six hours straight”.

    I’m waiting for someone to notice that I answer my finals questions by making lovely patterns in the scan-tron bubbles.

  3. If you are organized and have been doing what you were supposed to be doing up until the point of the final, you should take time off the night before and unwind. I’d recommend getting away from the computer too because it is tiring to be internet surfing. Go watch a dumb movie, work out, go bowling, whatever.

    Or you can be like me…procrastinate, cram, procrastinate some more, panic when you realize how much material you still have to cover and how you are already zapped of energy, get a grip on yourself, take a nap, then cram some more. (if you wake up.)

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